Critique Request

[Stevenwhoward]

This is the first infographic I have ever done. From now on I will probably simplify my approach through Adobe Illustrator.
I had difficulty with creating an explosion of the ship in Illustrator (I'm working between CS5 at school and CS4 at home).
Any and all suggestions and critiques are appreciated and will help. I don't know if I'll be able to put in the time to fix things that you guys suggest,
but I definitely will use them in consideration of future projects.
Here is the link to the image since I couldn't fit it in the post here:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_2_LPLnVUOFg/T ... oward1.jpg

-Steven W. Howard
http://www.stevenwhowardart.blogspot.com
http://www.swhowardillustration.blogspot.com
(I'm still working on getting up a proper website)

[Mike A]

Hi Steven,
Here are my thoughts from a first viewing...

First of all - thanks for posting it! I'd love to see more of this type of thread : )

I think the illustration of the aircraft looks great.

In the section on the wing flaps, I think the vertical order of your illustrations would be better reversed. The paragraph starts with info about the unperforated flaps - yet the first illustration shows the perforated flaps...
It would be interesting to know about the dive speed of the a/c as this relates to the third section about pulling up from the dive and gaining airspeed.

The area that needs big improvement IMHO are the ships. They are a long way out of natural perspective. They look are though they're crash landing into the sea.

The infographic is about the aircraft - that's the title. The ships are a secondary item, yet they are the most dominant thing in the image.

It it were mine I would have drastically simplified this area. I would have drawn the ship (probably just one) in profile crossing the scene from right to left. Simple one point perspective required - much easier to illustrate - and the emphasis would be shifted back to the main subject - the aircraft and the dive bombing.

I hope this helps - and I hope others add their thoughts too.

Keep up the good work. You've got some great work on your blog.


Mike

[JamesProvost]

Thanks for posting, Steven! The overall rendering and detail on the plane is very nice.

It took a second for me to realize that the plane at the top left was a separate drawing. The cast shadow helps separate it from the rest of the piece, but I think you need something a bit stronger. Maybe a soft white vignette behind that drawing?

Further to what Mike said about the ships, have a look at this piece by Max Gadney: http://www.flickr.com/photos/71659763@N ... otostream/.
The aircraft could remain fully rendered and in perspective as you have it, but the ships could be done in profile along the bottom of the page, like the chart at the bottom of the example. This way, you wouldn't have to worry about the perspective of the water and redrawing the ship five times.

I'm not sure the non-perforated flap callout is even necessary. Your call on that, though.

I know this isn't a typography forum, but I'm not a fan of the numbers you're using. Those sorts of numbers (old style) are meant for matching the visual flow of ascenders and descenders in larger bodies of text. Lining numbers are more suitable in this case.

Hope that's helpful, and thanks again for posting! It's a great idea!

[Stevenwhoward]

Thanks guys! I definitely agree with all the suggestions and will hopefully make the adjustments as time permits. (I am currently working on a cutaway/ghosted view of the P-51 Mustang in hopes of aiming toward Tim Hall's quality- although mine will have more than likely some inaccuracy as I have only been able to find mixed reference as the Mustang has many variants).
James- One of my fellow classmates made a similar comment about the upper left plane needing a surrounding box or something to separate it. The ship fix will be an easy one. As far as the type on a normal job would that be left to another department or you or does it depend?
Thanks again guys for the awesome advice!
In two weeks or so I should have the Mustang up here for some critique as well.
This site has, by far, been my most useful and beneficial tool in understanding and pursuing a technical illustration career.

[clint]

Good question on type, though I think it varies from project to project. When I worked in auto everything was already set in stone, Helvetica Nue. Where I'm at now I set the style. Hypatia Sans, Din Pro and variants of helvetica are usually where I land.

[JamesProvost]

Responsibilities vary, but if you have type on your work in your portfolio, you want it to be good (or at least not distracting).

Most art directors are designers. Designers love type.

[Mike A]

Steven,
While I'm well aware of the aviation work of Mike Badrocke, I wasn't aware of Tim Hall. But I was glad I Googled him having seen your reference to his name. Fantastic work.

If others haven't seen it it's worth a visit:

http://www.flightlinearts.com

There's some good sized portfolio samples to view.

Mike

[Kevin Prendergast]

Very good illustration overall, your objects are rendered well.

I would however move that horizon line up as it is creating a tangent with the noses of all the ships. I noticed you rendered one and copied them over which is creating this weird look in your drawing. perhaps you could keep the one and just render a new view in the back with less detail? Think atmospheric perspective not unlike what you've already done on the landforms in the back.

[Stevenwhoward]

I made the fixes that all of you suggested. Finally was able to get around to this after doing other projects. Thanks for all of the advice.
Here is the fixed version: http://stevenwhowardart.blogspot.com/20 ... fixed.html

[clint]

Nice work! That looks great.